- Come up with ten new reasons why I can’t go to CrossFit this month, up to and including, “I don’t want to join your f***ing cult.”
- Join CrossFit.
- Write a Limerick.
- Check #4 off of the list.
There once was a man from Nantucket,
had a crank so big ’twas carried in a bucket,
he resolutely resolved t’have many girls fuck it,
but alas, ’twas too big to even suck it.
- Stop tuning people out when their conversation begins with “It is vital that you pay attention.”
- Go visit Kirk Novak in Los Angeles, ignoring the obvious dangers and the fact that he hasn’t invited me, it seems to be a foolproof plan. I can always stay at Jumbo’s Clown Room if he doesn’t answer the door.
- (Editor’s note: Dave did not include a #7, possibly because he superstitiously believes them to be unlucky, or he may have written something about taking advice from Emily Lund.)
- Listen to Elizabeth Gomez, she is always right. Unless it is 2 am in which case cross-reference advice with Emily Lund.
- Be a better DWWP contributor, but not entirely sure what that means. Reference #8.
- Never write a list again.
Drinkers with Writing Problems
Literature by the Lit Up