1. It’s all about the layers, you guys [sweating profusely, passes out on train]
2. Is this how homeless people feel all the time? #privilege
3. While relieving oneself: Aaaaaaaaaah. This is the warmest I’ve been all day.
4. Hang on, I’ve just gotta post a screenshot of the temperature for everyone who is emerging from a coma right now.
5. Why do we live here again? No, seriously, why?
6. Fucking dibs.
7. What does Tom [Skilling] say?
8. You look tired. Have you had your Vitamin D checked?
9. There’s a magical land where you don’t need to put on a scarf, hat, face mask, ski gloves, babushka, double socks and 8-lb. boots to walk the dog. It’s called California, and we need to move there.
10. Well, the holidays are over. See you in April.
11. This just makes us appreciate the nicer weather more.
12. Circa college years: Coat, who needs it? Nothing comes between me and that mixture of sweat, vomit, pre-ejaculate, and O-bomb.
13. I refuse to wear a winter jacket in Mar– OMG, this wind!
14. Please shut up. You’re not the only one who can’t feel your face, because it’s -40 wind chill and nobody can feel their goddamned face. You’re not helping.
15. I’ll never be warm again. Pass the lighter fluid and matches, please. [proceeds to light self on fire]
Implicit in all of the above: We’re tougher than you.