Kirk Novak: I Glove LA

I Glove LA
To the tune of “I Love LA” by Randy Newman 

Hate New York City
People with bare hands
Spreading diseases on the subway
Let’s leave Chicago as Second City
That town’s a bit too unhygienic
For you and me, you clean girl

Walkin’ straight down Tujunga avenue
Staring at the sidewalk and the gutters
Stinking winds blowing off the LA river
Think, “that’s why people drive”

Cars honking at me as they roll past
Somebody playing Schoolboy Q
Looking at all the trash
I’m noticing a lot of discarded rubber gloves

I’ve been talkin’ ‘bout the Valley
But it’s all of LA County
Everybody’s sanitary
With powder free vinyl exam gloves
I’m staying microbe free today

I glove LA (We glove it)
I glove LA (We glove it)

Heroin needles
That guy’s got fleas
Look at that homeless person, man
All covered in pee
Look at these hookers
Ain’t been tested for STDs

Franklin Avenue (We glove it)
Vineland Avenue (We glove it)
Highland Avenue (We glove it)
Cahuenga Pass (We glove it, we glove it)
We glove LA

I glove LA (We glove it)
I glove LA (We glove it)
I glove LA (We glove it)