1. Thanksgiving or Christmas or the weekend or Monday – Friday!
2. You must watch every episode of Scandal that is available on Netflix.
3. You’re drunk.
4. You don’t know who these characters are in your short story.
5. You don’t know who you are anymore.
6. You’re drunk and need to run out for more bourbon and a bag of corn nuts.
7. You must take your whole family to the dentist on the same day which translates to reading three to four hours worth of People, OK! and Modern Living.
8. You need to find more books for your vintage recipe collection.
9. You hate your writing group and will resign in the morning.
10. You’re high, drunk, and standing in front of your ex’s house throwing beer bottles at his windows screaming, “YOU RUINED MY LIFE! ALL MY DREAMS ARE DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!”
11. You plan your suicide to dramatically fall off a rooftop skating rink in the middle of Chicago.
12. You change your mind because you don’t want people to think you’re too dramatic.
13. You have to start all the other pieces you’ve been meaning to write.
14. You’ve decided that writing isn’t for you and you’re going to start drawing old album covers from the 70’s.
15. You give up on that dream, too, and take a nap.
Drinkers with Writing Problems 