10. Dewey Decimal jokes aren’t funny and they never will be.
9. The incredulous: “You need a Masters degree to be a librarian??” Yes. Respect your librarians, they have powers of information retrieval that you can’t even begin to imagine.
8. People who say that EVERYTHING is on the Internet. Have you ever heard of archives? Guess what? Not everything is on the Internet and may never make it on the Internet. Sad but true. However, an awesome archivist can help you unlock a world of historical wonder; just ask.
7. People with the longest excuses for why they didn’t return a library item. We don’t care. We just want the book/DVD/magazine/etc back.
6. When we tell you that you have an item overdue and you claim you never checked it out and we find proof that you did. Say you’re sorry and bring it back.
5. People who put books/DVDs/magazines back on the shelf…in the wrong place. Trust me, there is an order to things. Remember that Dewey Decimal stuff? It’s no joke and neither is the alphabet.
4. Folks who don’t know how the internet/a computer/copier/fax machine works and are really belligerent about it, but then they just want you to do everything for them like you’re their secretary. No, thank you. Learn. It will help your brain live longer.
3. When you ask people to be quiet in the library and they point out that you are talking. Yeah. It’s called doing my job.
2. People who don’t want to follow the rules. Period.
1. ANYONE who steals from a library. Especially anyone who steals a freshly purchased, newly cataloged and processed book; there is a special circle of hell waiting for you.