Emily Lund: Ode to SkyMall (Repost)

In light of the recent announcements of SkyMall filing for bankruptcy, we give you this repost.

Original Post:

I was recently held captive on a plane for 1 hour and 46 minutes before we could take off.  Unfortunately, my iPad battery died in that period of time and I was forced to read in-flight literature.  As a result, I have written this poem.

Ode to SkyMall

Your conglomeration of items is so vast
Look, a Harry Potter wand to cast!
I see two eyes, a mouth and nose
Upon the oak tree your face goes

Have body fat amidst your belly?
A compression vest will cure that jelly
Skin tags and moles making you stress?
A magic cream will fix that mess

Dogs can sleep in a monogrammed bed
Or climb dog stairs and sleep with you instead
A reflexology hand massager for everyone to like
A rearview camera for your bike

So many things for us to enjoy
A voice activated R2-D2 toy
I never knew you had so many things
You’re the Mall of America except with wings

-Emily Lund

image from SkyMall magazine
image from SkyMall magazine


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