Murphy Row: Sick as a Dog

Writing Exercise: Write a true story from another perspective.

Is it morning? What’s going on? Looking for a signal but only finding the green fluorescent glow of the alarm clock, she knew it was the middle of the night. She never woke up in the middle of the night, and this was alarming to her.

No one opened my crate, and I don’t hear the humans moving? Well, I hear the big one snoring. She peered through the bars but the old red blanket covering the crate obscured her view. Is it still night? Why did I… What woke me up? Maybe, oh wait. Oh boy, that’s not good. Ooooh god. Oh shoot this isn’t good, just breathe.

She began to feel the saliva creep in at the back corners of her mouth. A telltale sign of what was to come next.

I’m salivating, is there food around… or a bell? There was not. Oh god I need to get out, need to get out, need to get out. I’ll just stand up real quick. She stood up too fast banging her head into the top of the crate. The snoring stopped. Fuck. I’m still not out, the door didn’t open, I thought that would work. Just let me paw at the door, maybe they will let me out. She daintily pawed at the latch on the door.

Nothing. Shoot. Ugh they hate when I try to get out in the middle of the night, they must be ignoring me. I’ll have to ask ask to get out.

“Arooough! Ar Ar Aroooogh!”

“Quiet!”  snapped the sleepy female as without raising an eyelid.

Oh no, the small pretty one didn’t like that. Buuut, I need to get out! “Arrrrrrrr”

“Quite Lu.” Chirped the bigger human as he rolled in his place.

“Harrumph.” They sound pissed. Let me just circle back around one my sleeping spot a few times and try to just lie down. Maybe that will work.

Ugh I should not have eaten those baseballs. But… the big human gave them too me so they were obviously mine, and you can still taste the beef hide even if you have to fight through that stupid red string. The pain in her stomach grew worse and the saliva more pronounced. How could you betray me baseballs! You taste so good! Ugh, oh puppy this is bad. “URP URP URP”

“Stop it LU!” Now the smaller human had sat up in the bed with a start.

But it is not me! I can’t help it, I need to get out, I need… “Urp Urp Urp!”Bulawwh!” She stood motionless for a moment trying not to panic and step in the mess.

Oh no that’s not good, is that… yup, it’s the baseball covers. Oh no, the humans are moving, oh no oh no oh on oh on oh on. The door of the crate unlatched and the door swung open as she scampered over the pile of baseball covers and bile to the open bedroom.

Are they mad at me, I can’t tell… oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean it. The humans scurried in a sleepy haze to deal with the mess and the potential of another expulsion from their dog.

Please don’t be mad! Look at how low my ears are! She found a spot in the corner out of the way to sit and watch the humans and see how much trouble she would be in.

Ah freedom helps. This feels so much better.  She stood up to go investigate what they were going to do with the vomit. Oh boy standing up didn’t help, “URP URP URP.”

The big human grabbed her by the collar and directed he off of the carpet and onto the hardwood floor. You need me to move fine, fine, I’ll go… “URP URP, Bulawhh!”

Oh I’m sorry don’t be mad don be mad! She whimpered as she thought something bad might be coming. The big human approached her and gently caressed the soft fur around her ears and under her chin. What? You aren’t mad at me? But, I am ruining our home! I know how much you hate vomit! I mean I love it, but you always throw it away immediately. So you must hate it. Why aren’t you mad at me? The soothing pets now came from both humans. While the humans seemed to be forgiving of the vomit, for some reason they started to lash out at each other. Angry remarks and snarky remarks with deep cutting undertones filled the room.

I’m so sorry, can’t you see how low my tail is, please don’t fight with each other! I swear I’ll never eat another baseball again! I mean probably not. Maybe. Well do you have a baseball… Never mind, I didn’t mean it! Please don’t be mean to each other!

As quickly as it started it was over. The humans had cleaned the vomit and covered up the wonderful vomit smell with the hideous smell of lemon. Both humans took a deep breath and pet the dog together. They climbed back into bed, and the big human patted the mattress between them.

What? I get cuddle time! The rest of the night! Oh you don’t hate me! The dog jumped up on the bed. I’ll just take this spot in-between you two, and just let me turn around twice to trample my sleeping spot. Oh that’s nice, your butt is such a good pillow. Oh that’s nice right between the ears. Oh ok, sleepy time. Let me nuzzle in here, and I promise, I won’t throw up in your bed. “Huuuuuackkk, slurp slurp slurp.” Phew, false alarm, I’m good.