Springfield, MO – “I’m not having it,” said Jocelyn P. Stump, “He was completely wasted with all these excuses and I’m not having it. I told him that it’s enough and I’m not having it.”
Stump’s beau of two years, Max Fill, showed up at her apartment after “a night out with the boys”. Stump claims that when she opened the door she saw Fill covered in lipstick marks and glitter. She noticed that it was 2 a.m. and decided she was not having it, especially this early in the morning.
Fill admits that it was late when he arrived but he couldn’t wait until the next day to see her. “The truth is that I was super horny, but she wasn’t having it so I went to Taco Bell and jerked off in the bathroom,” said Fill.
Drinkers with Writing Problems 
A writers feelings on Atticus Finch https://tosingofmyself.wordpress.com/
Good stuff! You should see if you can get that in “The Onion”.
Ha! Like the format.
Absolutely Onion perfect!!