Elizabeth Gomez: I Hate Cats

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hate cats,
Whether they are tall or flat,
Whether they are brown or black
I hate cats

I hate cats who sleep
I hate cats that eat
I hate cats when they lay on all my freshly washed black clothes
And I don’t realize it until I put the clothes on
AND OF COURSE, I’m late for an interview.

I hate cats who run,
I hate cats that frolick in the sun.
I hate cats that are mean,
I hate cats that are clean.

I hate cats that are in my house
because I married a man who has one
and that was always a deal breaker for me,
So what I was ever thinking?
I’m sad for my husband when I smother that cat in its sleep
Because it’s obvious that it’s her or me.

I hate cats.