They like to clap for me
They give me a standing ovation
They say, “Good job at being you!”
They say, “We like ranch dressing better than vinaigrette”
They are dimply and veiny
They are too wide for my jeans
They are scarred and stretched
They appreciate my attempts at lunges
They open up to love and lust
They close together at dinner parties and proper work outings
They are chapped from sweaty walking
They wish I’d wear pants but
When I wear pants, they don’t clap for me.
Drinkers with Writing Problems 
This is awesome.
You crack me up.