Elizabeth Gomez: Crushed

“And perhaps there is a limit to the grieving that the human heart can do. As when one adds salt to a tumbler of water, there comes a point where simply no more will be absorbed.”

– Sarah Waters, The Little Stranger

Today is my day to post a new entry into our blog. But, I cannot post a silly story or ideas about the best gift basket to give to your mom for Mother’s Day. I spent most of my day horrified by the Boston Marathon incident. I’m sickened and disgusted. I’m hurt and angry. I’m concerned about the people who were injured and amazed at those who jumped into the action to help their fellow man.

There’s no way for me to express the depth of these feelings to you. I’m not sure  how I’ll share a glass of wine with a friend while preventing myself from breaking down. I’m not sure how I’ll explain it to my daughters when they ask me over dinner how my day was. I’m not sure how I’ll feel safe and warm tonight laying in the arms of my husband.

I understand that life isn’t about feeling safe and secure every moment. Life is always going to have tragedy. Life is made up of risks. However, it’s hard for me to wrap my head around why anyone would inflict violence, fear, and pain when nature and the normal course of life will inevitably do it for us.

Strolling through facebook, I see memes and “My heart goes out….” posts on everyone’s page and it stirs me. While it feels somewhat overwhelming and manufactured, I believe that people mean it. I believe that there are other people and other families struggling to explain this tragedy to each other. I believe that there are people hugging their families a bit tighter today and making that long overdue phone call to Grams. If there’s anything good that came out of today, it’s that all of us are forced to remember and pay respect to each other.

I believe Sarah Waters when she says that there is a point where we can grieve no more. I believe that we become insensitive and hard with each tragedy. I live in Chicago, and I can’t even name 1 of the 4 people shot in the last 24 hours. While I recognize these things about humanity, I still hold strong to the idea that love is the only resource that has no end and will see us through. It is times like this, that we must give all of our stored supply, so that tomorrow, that love will continue to grow and be bountiful for those who need it because that is all we can do.

– Elizabeth Gomez